Lying is a behavior that both parents and caregivers find
particularly troublesome. Most children will exaggerate, stretch
the truth or downright fib at one point or another. It is helpful
to understand that young children often lie for very different
reasons than adults do. This understanding will help you prevent
and cope with lying and tale telling.
Reasons for Lying
To confirm to expected behavior, avoid punishment or
receive reward. A young child may realize that a concrete
action such as taking a cookie is wrong and yet see no
problem with denying the action.
To avoid embarrassmentand preserve self-esteem,
They don’t yet understand the difference between
fact and fiction. This is very common with younger
children. Their fanciful tales may be a reflection of
their wishes or simply a bountiful imagination.
Prevent Lying
Avoid giving the child the opportunity or reason to lie.
This may happen when you confront a child for an action
you already know they did. If you catch a child with
standing besides a broken vase, it is best not to say,
"Did you smash my favorite vase?" Try, " I
can see you broke my vase, can you tell me how it
happened?"
Be a good role model and practice what you preach. A
young child is not going to understand the fine line
between a "white lie" and a fib. Attempt to be
honest in all that you say and do.
Reacting to Lying
Try not to accelerate the lying with such statements as,
"If I find out you lied about this, I am going to
put you in time out." Instead encourage discussion
by saying, "I don’t think that is what
happened, I need you tell me what occurred so we can
solve the problem."
Be sure to explain to the child in simple terms the
importance of honesty. Talk about how it builds trust and
social relationships.
Acknowledge the child’s feelings or the cause of the
lie. "I can see you may be embarassed, but I need to
know what happened so we deal with it together."
