Starting daycare is a major life
transistion for both young children and their families.
Change,even when it is a postive change can be stressful. In many
cases this may be the first time a child is away from the secure
and loving arms of their family. Both the child and parents may
experience anxiety about
starting a daycare experience. Parents want to know that their child will be in
a loving and safe environment when the child is not in their
direct care. It is not uncommon for parents to feel guilty about
placing the child in a daycare program, thus making the farewell
more difficult. Young children have been developing a attachment
to their parents and are often secure in their daily home life
and routine. There are specific measures that both parents and
caregivers can take to ease the transition to care and alleviate
separation anxiety.
For Parents
Recognize your own
feelings-Your child is sensitive to your
emotional state and attitudes. If you are apprehensive
about the childcare program or how your child will
adjust, you may unwillingly convey this to your child. If
is important that you have taken great care in choosing a childcare alternative that you are
personally comfortable with. Also be sure to always talk
to the child about daycare as a positive and exciting
thing. Avoid apologizing to the child about enrolling
them in a daycare program.
Recognize your
child's temperment- You know your child better
than anyone else. Let your knowledge about your child's
personality and temperment guide how you approach this
new transition. If your child is naturally somewhat shy
and slow to warm up, then you will know that you may need
to take extra time in introducing your child to a new
environment and new people.
Prepare your child
in advance- Your child will have less anxiety if
they know what to expect and are familiar with the
program and caregivers. Bring the child along when you
tour a program or meet a family daycare provider. Try to
visit at least once where you can remain with the child
as they explore the new surroundings. There are some
super children's books about starting
daycare that
address what daycare is like. Often these books show
another child overcoming separation anxiety in a positive
way.
Make the first day
a first week- One of the most sucessful
strategies for alleviating separation anxiety is to make
the break slowly. If at possible, start your child's
daycare experience slowly. Maybe only an hour the first
day, two hours the next, until the child is comfortable
remaining in care the full day.
Reinforce a sense
of trust with your child- Young children's
separation anxiety is often closely tied to fears of
abandonment. It is important that they will know that you
will be returning for them at a designated time. With an
older child you can even point out on the clock when you
will return or give them a concrete milestone such as,
"I will be back for you right after lunch
time". It may also be helpful to discuss with your
child where you will be and what you will be doing during
the time of separation. In any case remind your child
that you will indeed return.
Leave something
behind- Sometimes called transisitional objects;
blankies, teddys and other objects of comfort can help a
child feel secure. Many parents find that an object that
helps the child remember the parent is of great benifet.
These "rememberance" objects may include photos
or an object of the parents clothing.
Communicate with
the caregiver- They are your greatest ally in
making the separation a smooth and calm experience. Be
sure to let them know if you have any specific concerns
and needs. Don't be afraid to specifically request their
assistance or guidance. Some caregivers will stand back
until you directly say,"I am leaving now and I need
you to hold Todd."
Say Good-bye-
You may wish to warn that child that you will be leaving
in five minutes, or that after the story you will be
going to work. When it is time to go, say good-bye and
go. Continued extensions to the separation seem to only
add to anxiety and make the separation more difficult. It
is never suggested to "sneak" out. Regardless
of how upset the child is, sneaking out only adds to
their anxiety, increases fear of abandonment, and breaks
down the child's sense of trust.
Remember overcoming separation
anxiety and adjusting to daycare, like any major life change is a
gradual process. Soon daycare will become a positive and exciting
part of your child's daily routine.
