Starting daycare is a major life
transistion for both young children and their families.
Change,even when it is a postive change can be stressful. In many
cases this may be the first time a child is away from the secure
and loving arms of their family. Both the child and parents may
experience anxiety about starting a daycare experience. Parents
want to know that their child will be in a loving and safe
environment when the child is not in their direct care. It is not
uncommon for parents to feel guilty about placing the child in a
daycare program, thus making the farewell more difficult. Young
children have been developing a attachment to their parents and
are often secure in their daily home life and routine. There are
specific measures that both parents and caregivers can take to
ease the transition to care and alleviate separation anxiety.
For Caregivers
Recognize the
parent's feelings- Both parents and children are
undergoing a major life change. Realize that parents may
have feelings of apprehension or guilt in leaving their
child in your care. Be sure to make both child and
parents feel welcome. You can make them feel welcome by
labeling the child's cubby and other personal spaces in
advance. You may want to hang a poster or banner
welcoming the new family.
Make the first day
a first week- One of the most sucessful
strategies for alleviating separation anxiety is to
encourage a slow transition. If at possible, provide
opportunties for the family and child to get to know you
before the child starts daycare. Some caregivers make
home visits where the child can meet them in the child's
secure surroundings. Some caregivers or daycare programs
plan an open house, a chance for the child and parent to
explore the program together. Invite the parents to bring
the child in on a gradual schedule to allow them to
adjust to daycare in a gentle way. Maybe only an hour the
first day, two hours the next, until the child is
comfortable remaining in care the full day.
Reinforce a sense
of trust with the child- Young children's
separation anxiety is often closely tied to fears of
abandonment. It is important that they will know that the
parent will be returning for them at a designated time.
With an older child you can even point out on the clock
when they will return or give them a concrete milestone
such as, "Mom will be back for you right after lunch
time". It may also be helpful to discuss with the
child where she will be and what she will be doing during
the time of separation. In any case remind the child that
she will indeed return.
Let them bring
something from home- Sometimes called
transisitional objects; blankies, teddys and other
objects of comfort can help a child feel secure. Many
caregivers find that an object that helps the child
remember the parent is of great benefit. These
"rememberance" objects may include photos or an
object of the parents clothing.
Communicate with
the parent- They are your greatest ally in
making the separation a smooth and calm experience. Be
sure to let them know if you have any specific concerns
and needs. Don't be afraid to specifically ask how you
can be of assistance. " I see you are ready to leave
now, would you like me to hold Todd?"
Say Good-bye-
You may wish to warn the child that the parent will be
leaving in five minutes, or that after the story they
will be going to work. When it is time for the parent to
go, encourage the parent to say good-bye and go.
Continued extensions to the separation seem to only add
to anxiety and make the separation more difficult.
Discourage the parent from "sneaking" out.
Regardless of how upset the child is, sneaking out only
adds to their anxiety, increases fear of abandonment, and
breaks down the child's sense of trust. You may want to
help the parents establish a routine for saying good-bye.
Such a routine may include 3 hugs and a wave from the
window.
Remember overcoming separation
anxiety and adjusting to daycare, like any major life change is a
gradual process. Soon daycare will become a positive and exciting
part the child's daily routine.
